I am positive that the Internet (especially the socializing part of it) is isolating people. It's paradoxical, because today social networking websites like Facebook etc not only get unknown people closer by giving them a scope to know each other, but also help people reunite with their long lost friends and acquaintances. But I believe in essence it isolates people, in that the time one would have been spending with one's family and/or close friends in physical proximity would be much more fulfilling than the time one spends with unknown people and far away friends/relations over the Internet.
There are several reasons for that:
1) Convenience and longevity of online relations is less. Thus the scope for creating a meaningful and lasting experience is very limited, for that requires time and convenience.
2) Everyone interacts with countless people online, so the share of attention and emotional connection everyone gets from everyone else is naturally going to be relatively less. That's another reason for not getting a sense of fulfillment even when one is regularly interacting with so many people every day over social networking websites. Seeing someone engaged with you one moment and with others the next (and over totally different subjects) is not conducive to the same emotional fulfillment from the engagement that comes when spending time with someone in person.
3) Playing a game of cricket for real, or going for a movie with a few close friends can be a memorable experience. Doing things online with online friends can not. Life comprises of so many little details which collectively make grand memories when the years have passed. The virtual world is too limited to capture, or even allow those little, subtle things to take place. Having a virtual friendship is analogous to exploring the streets of Paris on Google Earth's Street View. A person who spends several hrs a day socializing on the Internet needs to really get a life.
4) A lot of people online are plain pretenses. You never know when they will desert you, because you don't know them at all. Engaging with them is mostly a waste of time and energy – unless one has a worthwhile motive like learning something, or discussion or debate kind of engagement. If one is looking for the joy of human relationships, one should preferably look around in the real world, not on the Internet.
5) I also think that, just like in things, having too many choices in friends/people makes the relations with them fickle. It degrades the quality of every experience, because there's always someone better, someone more interesting around the corner and within reach. And that's true for everyone. When the choices are abundant no one gets the real thing (which is "meaningful and lasing" relation) because everyone is greedy and looking for more. Yes, you can have hundreds of superficial friends and delude yourself of enjoying those friendships.
Hence, quantitatively it brings people together; but speaking in terms of quality and essence, it's isolating people.
The often repeated argument is that if there was no Internet, we could never have found our childhood friends back, and never have had opportunities to meet interesting people that we do. So, this progress is good and has made life better. Well, it's a fallacy of thought. Once we are accustomed to something, imagining life without it is naturally going to seem less comfortable. We can't imagine life without cellphones today. But we can't deny it that when cellphones weren't around we were just as happy as we are today. Same is with everything. In fact, being connected with childhood friends all life erodes the pleasure of missing them. Occasional letters received from a relation gave us more happiness than the emails and DMs we receive so frequently now. Seeing people and interacting with them too frequently results in loss of value of those people. Upon close look one must see that it makes life flat and bland.
There are many subtle pleasures of life the "new world" is robbing people of without we even realizing it, because we are too blinded by the glare of fast paced developments and too excited to stop and evaluate how it all is affecting the quality of our lives.
There are several reasons for that:
1) Convenience and longevity of online relations is less. Thus the scope for creating a meaningful and lasting experience is very limited, for that requires time and convenience.
2) Everyone interacts with countless people online, so the share of attention and emotional connection everyone gets from everyone else is naturally going to be relatively less. That's another reason for not getting a sense of fulfillment even when one is regularly interacting with so many people every day over social networking websites. Seeing someone engaged with you one moment and with others the next (and over totally different subjects) is not conducive to the same emotional fulfillment from the engagement that comes when spending time with someone in person.
3) Playing a game of cricket for real, or going for a movie with a few close friends can be a memorable experience. Doing things online with online friends can not. Life comprises of so many little details which collectively make grand memories when the years have passed. The virtual world is too limited to capture, or even allow those little, subtle things to take place. Having a virtual friendship is analogous to exploring the streets of Paris on Google Earth's Street View. A person who spends several hrs a day socializing on the Internet needs to really get a life.
4) A lot of people online are plain pretenses. You never know when they will desert you, because you don't know them at all. Engaging with them is mostly a waste of time and energy – unless one has a worthwhile motive like learning something, or discussion or debate kind of engagement. If one is looking for the joy of human relationships, one should preferably look around in the real world, not on the Internet.
5) I also think that, just like in things, having too many choices in friends/people makes the relations with them fickle. It degrades the quality of every experience, because there's always someone better, someone more interesting around the corner and within reach. And that's true for everyone. When the choices are abundant no one gets the real thing (which is "meaningful and lasing" relation) because everyone is greedy and looking for more. Yes, you can have hundreds of superficial friends and delude yourself of enjoying those friendships.
Hence, quantitatively it brings people together; but speaking in terms of quality and essence, it's isolating people.
The often repeated argument is that if there was no Internet, we could never have found our childhood friends back, and never have had opportunities to meet interesting people that we do. So, this progress is good and has made life better. Well, it's a fallacy of thought. Once we are accustomed to something, imagining life without it is naturally going to seem less comfortable. We can't imagine life without cellphones today. But we can't deny it that when cellphones weren't around we were just as happy as we are today. Same is with everything. In fact, being connected with childhood friends all life erodes the pleasure of missing them. Occasional letters received from a relation gave us more happiness than the emails and DMs we receive so frequently now. Seeing people and interacting with them too frequently results in loss of value of those people. Upon close look one must see that it makes life flat and bland.
There are many subtle pleasures of life the "new world" is robbing people of without we even realizing it, because we are too blinded by the glare of fast paced developments and too excited to stop and evaluate how it all is affecting the quality of our lives.
As with everything, it's all about balance. How do you know everything was 'fine' before mobile phones? How do we quantify that exactly?
ReplyDeleteForms of communication, whatever form are valuable... if they are abused or used for vanity or for the boosting of one's ego, then they are being wasted. But if they're used for genuine connections, and sometimes much needed connections at times when we are financially restricted and/or in need of inspiration or encouragement, then it is a priceless tool and one I personally wouldn't want to be without.
Like speaking and singing or playing a musical instrument, it is a form of expression and once it is mastered it seems illogical to be without it completely.
Great article, but as in my opening statement it is all about equilibrium for me - indeed too much socialising with the same people week in-week out also makes life flat and bland, and leaves you craving deeper forms of communication and creativity.
We need to evolve WITH the technology... simple as that to me.