Use and throw approach extended to people is called one-night-stand (and fuck-buddies, fling etc.)
In one-night-stand people are like disposable battery. Being fuck-buddies isn’t better. With fuck-buddies it’s like a multiple-recharge battery. Usable for a longer time, but disposable nonetheless.
It’s not wrong to have one-night-stand or being fuck-buddies, but when you are going for it, be aware of what it is. When sex is at the center, you are in for more than you know. For romantic love is closely connected to sex. Those believing (romantic) love and sex are totally separate things are delusional.
It is very likely that you will develop romantic love for the partner after a few orgasms. Even one-night-stand has that possibility depending on how great it is.
Here the complication is.
(BTW, I will use the term romantic fixation, rather than love. For romantic love is anything but love. At best, it’s an illusion of love. In true sense, it’s but mating drive.)
So, when romantic fixation happens, it would make you an emotional slave of the person of fixation. And with it comes whole lot of expectations going beyond those of your animal nature. These expectations thus won’t be about sex alone, which was your original bargain; but will extend to wider social contract.
Even romantic fixation alone is not an ideal basis for meaningful long-term social contract. 1NS, fuck-buddies, fling is worse.
Being deserted or getting dumped in that state (having expectations following romantic fixation) will feel terrible. If you fully understand this and are ready for the same, go ahead.
When going for either of those, know that you are disposable. And disposables are not valuable beyond their use. And since it is indulgence of animal nature it goes without saying that you will be ruthlessly used (including deceit and emotional manipulation) by the person to his/her advantage. So when that happens it shouldn’t come to you as a surprise. Or you are too naïve.
Expect loyalty and have yourself alone to blame.
In one-night-stand people are like disposable battery. Being fuck-buddies isn’t better. With fuck-buddies it’s like a multiple-recharge battery. Usable for a longer time, but disposable nonetheless.
It’s not wrong to have one-night-stand or being fuck-buddies, but when you are going for it, be aware of what it is. When sex is at the center, you are in for more than you know. For romantic love is closely connected to sex. Those believing (romantic) love and sex are totally separate things are delusional.
It is very likely that you will develop romantic love for the partner after a few orgasms. Even one-night-stand has that possibility depending on how great it is.
Here the complication is.
(BTW, I will use the term romantic fixation, rather than love. For romantic love is anything but love. At best, it’s an illusion of love. In true sense, it’s but mating drive.)
So, when romantic fixation happens, it would make you an emotional slave of the person of fixation. And with it comes whole lot of expectations going beyond those of your animal nature. These expectations thus won’t be about sex alone, which was your original bargain; but will extend to wider social contract.
Even romantic fixation alone is not an ideal basis for meaningful long-term social contract. 1NS, fuck-buddies, fling is worse.
Being deserted or getting dumped in that state (having expectations following romantic fixation) will feel terrible. If you fully understand this and are ready for the same, go ahead.
When going for either of those, know that you are disposable. And disposables are not valuable beyond their use. And since it is indulgence of animal nature it goes without saying that you will be ruthlessly used (including deceit and emotional manipulation) by the person to his/her advantage. So when that happens it shouldn’t come to you as a surprise. Or you are too naïve.
Expect loyalty and have yourself alone to blame.
Absolutely true.It is mostly the women who suffers in this sceanario and Iam not saying this because of the gender bias or society's attitude towards women viz a viz one night stand, fling etc but because it is always the girl who gets emotionally attached to the person with whom she is physically involved with and ends up being heartbroken and dejected.Its extremely rare for a guy to develop feelings for his "sexual" partner.
ReplyDeleteI have always felt that cinema is a reflection of society or what the society aspires to be.There have been many movies(No strings Attached, Friends with Benefits etc) in hollywood which have dealt with the concept of fuck buddies, flings and in the end they show the protagonists falling in love and realaising their mistake but not before the leading lady gets hurt and dejected.So i guess even the american society is averse to the idea of fuck buddies.May be Indians ought to realize this and think before aping the west.
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