I was having this discussion with a friend, about whether it’s okay to not produce a child. And he said I am a shame to even think so; that if my parents had thought like this, I wouldn’t have been born. Well, I said, I wouldn’t have regretted not being born.
I have no desire to bring another human life into the world, because I believe it’s not worth it. Life is a constant struggle, suffering by default, where one needs immense patience and perseverance in self-development in order to be able to accept the reality – which, again, isn’t pleasant by our definition and concept of “pleasant” – and then start enjoying life with a radically altered perspective. In the end, yes, one who succeeds in reaching that level of awareness (which is, I am afraid, hardly 5% of the population, or even less) does manage to enjoy life with all its ups and downs; but even then the fact that it all serves no ultimate end makes this whole exercise meaningless. That’s, in short, the reason why I don’t think I should produce a child, apart from the fact that I don’t have the desire for it.
If there was some God (theistic one) who is by definition good, and has good plans behind everything, then that could justify the existence as it is; and that could “morally” bind me to produce a child. But alas, there isn’t such God.
In the end, the friend said this interesting thing: If you regard life as a gift and not as a punishment, then you will want to propagate.
This raised a very, very interesting question: Is life a gift or a punishment? And I couldn’t resist an urge to do an article on it, to express my view of life with regard to the question.
Is Life a Gift or a Punishment?
I’ll diverge a bit here.
Suppose we humans become super-intelligent one day. So intelligent that we can make genes by using chemicals; and we can make live cells, and subsequently bacteria; and then, say, a full grown living creature. We can create all this in a laboratory just by using chemicals available to us. Science has developed so much.
We decide to build a big aquarium; with varieties of fish in it. The idea is not to build a usual aquarium; but the one which will house the fish that “we” create. We wrote genetic codes, designed cells and everything. We created several thousand fish in the laboratory. We designed their world in such a way that it will be self-improving with time. Meaning, we have also put in place the whole evolution mechanism. We have made their world, the aquarium, difficult to live in; so that the fish don’t have easy life; because only then the system could be self-improving through evolution. The fish will have reproductive ability, of course. So, the “fittest” fish will mate and produce “better” fish by combination of good traits of the two mating fish. This way their world will go on getting more and more sophisticated, once we have done our job of creating it.
Now let’s consider the question with regards to this aquarium: Is life (of the fish) a gift or a punishment?
What we as the creators of the aquarium would say? Of course, by creating this aquarium we haven’t bestowed any favor on the fish. We haven’t created them for their sake, but for our own. Are we even concerned with the fish’s wellbeing? No. We have just made this self-improving living system for our intellectual entertainment; or to prove to ourselves how incredibly ingenious we have become. So, from our perspective, it would be rather arrogant to say that we have given fish a gift of life, by creating them; life, which has no real meaning, or ultimate end, for “them”.
What do the fish think? Well, first of all, the life of the aquarium is by default struggle; because only then the system can be self-improving through evolution. Without struggle evolution loses its point. So, the fish might rather say that “life is unfair”. But then because that’s the only world they know and have, there’s no point crying over the unfairness. So, after a while of grumbling they might think, okay, life is struggle only. Let’s accept it. Then they focus on the positives of life and go on living. They may consider their life a gift because that’s a good perspective. You know, if they are choosing to accept it as it is and live, it would make things easier if they thought of life in a good way; as a gift. But, that’s still a make-believe thing. Isn’t it? Irrespective of what they think, we the creators know the truth; that their life is for our entertainment and nothing else. In real sense, it’s neither a gift nor a punishment.
We know that their existence isn’t serving any meaning in the end. For all we know, tomorrow we might get bored with this aquarium and destroy it, and then create something else. The fish get the sense of meaning and purpose because so they are designed. Whatever they feel is their illusion; it doesn’t matter in the real sense. The real purposes behind the aquarium are “our” purposes; and not for the fish per se.
Now suppose, instead of the aquarium, there’s this universe; and instead of the fish, it’s us humans and all the other creatures; all created by some ingenious and unimaginable creator, only for some intellectual entertainment; or any other purpose of that creator.
What do you think of the question now: Is life a gift or a punishment?
As for me, I believe it’s neither. Life just IS. It has both good and bad elements. And since I am born, I think good elements are what I keep living for. While in the bad times, I reflect on it and wait for it to pass; meanwhile learning the lessons so that next time I make better decisions. After all, however, the struggle is inevitable; for all of us, till we die. After knowing all this I have learned to “enjoy” the life. Also, because I am enjoying life, that doesn’t mean I am afraid of dying. Tomorrow if I come to know that I am going to die in a month’s time, I won’t be distressed at all. I have accepted the existence as it IS, with all its pluses and minuses, and I am quite comfortable with this awareness. But still, I don’t see a reason why life is gift which I should want to spread further.
Even if we have no problems with the struggle, having totally accepted it as “life”, what’s the point of it all? The universe has no purpose for “us”. We only create purposes on our own so that we can “enjoy” living in this otherwise meaningless-for-us universe; we do it in a make-believe way. We might manage to enjoy it; but we are unable to find the point of it; unless, of course, that too we contrive in a make-believe way. I can’t do that. Besides, not to be missed is the fact that not all of us can even manage to accept life as it is. Like I mentioned in the beginning, only a meager percentage of humans can actually reach the awareness after which thay can accept life as IS. Majority of people live unfulfilled; resorting to all sorts of make-believe comforts, like God, voodoo philosophies, etc. I won’t even say that’s bad. No, because that’s how life is. It’s not to be understood only rationally.
So, to regard life as a gift is a better perspective, when we are living it. It certainly helps us to enjoy life more fully. But when it comes to deciding whether to bring another life in the world, my awareness interferes.
Finally, I would say even the question whether to produce a child or not is a futile one. It doesn’t matter in the end. If one has the desire, one should go ahead with it. And it’s equally fine if one doesn’t have the desire for it – be it due to the awareness or otherwise. It is okay both ways.
I have no desire to bring another human life into the world, because I believe it’s not worth it. Life is a constant struggle, suffering by default, where one needs immense patience and perseverance in self-development in order to be able to accept the reality – which, again, isn’t pleasant by our definition and concept of “pleasant” – and then start enjoying life with a radically altered perspective. In the end, yes, one who succeeds in reaching that level of awareness (which is, I am afraid, hardly 5% of the population, or even less) does manage to enjoy life with all its ups and downs; but even then the fact that it all serves no ultimate end makes this whole exercise meaningless. That’s, in short, the reason why I don’t think I should produce a child, apart from the fact that I don’t have the desire for it.
If there was some God (theistic one) who is by definition good, and has good plans behind everything, then that could justify the existence as it is; and that could “morally” bind me to produce a child. But alas, there isn’t such God.
In the end, the friend said this interesting thing: If you regard life as a gift and not as a punishment, then you will want to propagate.
This raised a very, very interesting question: Is life a gift or a punishment? And I couldn’t resist an urge to do an article on it, to express my view of life with regard to the question.
Is Life a Gift or a Punishment?
I’ll diverge a bit here.
Suppose we humans become super-intelligent one day. So intelligent that we can make genes by using chemicals; and we can make live cells, and subsequently bacteria; and then, say, a full grown living creature. We can create all this in a laboratory just by using chemicals available to us. Science has developed so much.
We decide to build a big aquarium; with varieties of fish in it. The idea is not to build a usual aquarium; but the one which will house the fish that “we” create. We wrote genetic codes, designed cells and everything. We created several thousand fish in the laboratory. We designed their world in such a way that it will be self-improving with time. Meaning, we have also put in place the whole evolution mechanism. We have made their world, the aquarium, difficult to live in; so that the fish don’t have easy life; because only then the system could be self-improving through evolution. The fish will have reproductive ability, of course. So, the “fittest” fish will mate and produce “better” fish by combination of good traits of the two mating fish. This way their world will go on getting more and more sophisticated, once we have done our job of creating it.
Now let’s consider the question with regards to this aquarium: Is life (of the fish) a gift or a punishment?
What we as the creators of the aquarium would say? Of course, by creating this aquarium we haven’t bestowed any favor on the fish. We haven’t created them for their sake, but for our own. Are we even concerned with the fish’s wellbeing? No. We have just made this self-improving living system for our intellectual entertainment; or to prove to ourselves how incredibly ingenious we have become. So, from our perspective, it would be rather arrogant to say that we have given fish a gift of life, by creating them; life, which has no real meaning, or ultimate end, for “them”.
What do the fish think? Well, first of all, the life of the aquarium is by default struggle; because only then the system can be self-improving through evolution. Without struggle evolution loses its point. So, the fish might rather say that “life is unfair”. But then because that’s the only world they know and have, there’s no point crying over the unfairness. So, after a while of grumbling they might think, okay, life is struggle only. Let’s accept it. Then they focus on the positives of life and go on living. They may consider their life a gift because that’s a good perspective. You know, if they are choosing to accept it as it is and live, it would make things easier if they thought of life in a good way; as a gift. But, that’s still a make-believe thing. Isn’t it? Irrespective of what they think, we the creators know the truth; that their life is for our entertainment and nothing else. In real sense, it’s neither a gift nor a punishment.
We know that their existence isn’t serving any meaning in the end. For all we know, tomorrow we might get bored with this aquarium and destroy it, and then create something else. The fish get the sense of meaning and purpose because so they are designed. Whatever they feel is their illusion; it doesn’t matter in the real sense. The real purposes behind the aquarium are “our” purposes; and not for the fish per se.
Now suppose, instead of the aquarium, there’s this universe; and instead of the fish, it’s us humans and all the other creatures; all created by some ingenious and unimaginable creator, only for some intellectual entertainment; or any other purpose of that creator.
What do you think of the question now: Is life a gift or a punishment?
As for me, I believe it’s neither. Life just IS. It has both good and bad elements. And since I am born, I think good elements are what I keep living for. While in the bad times, I reflect on it and wait for it to pass; meanwhile learning the lessons so that next time I make better decisions. After all, however, the struggle is inevitable; for all of us, till we die. After knowing all this I have learned to “enjoy” the life. Also, because I am enjoying life, that doesn’t mean I am afraid of dying. Tomorrow if I come to know that I am going to die in a month’s time, I won’t be distressed at all. I have accepted the existence as it IS, with all its pluses and minuses, and I am quite comfortable with this awareness. But still, I don’t see a reason why life is gift which I should want to spread further.
Even if we have no problems with the struggle, having totally accepted it as “life”, what’s the point of it all? The universe has no purpose for “us”. We only create purposes on our own so that we can “enjoy” living in this otherwise meaningless-for-us universe; we do it in a make-believe way. We might manage to enjoy it; but we are unable to find the point of it; unless, of course, that too we contrive in a make-believe way. I can’t do that. Besides, not to be missed is the fact that not all of us can even manage to accept life as it is. Like I mentioned in the beginning, only a meager percentage of humans can actually reach the awareness after which thay can accept life as IS. Majority of people live unfulfilled; resorting to all sorts of make-believe comforts, like God, voodoo philosophies, etc. I won’t even say that’s bad. No, because that’s how life is. It’s not to be understood only rationally.
So, to regard life as a gift is a better perspective, when we are living it. It certainly helps us to enjoy life more fully. But when it comes to deciding whether to bring another life in the world, my awareness interferes.
Finally, I would say even the question whether to produce a child or not is a futile one. It doesn’t matter in the end. If one has the desire, one should go ahead with it. And it’s equally fine if one doesn’t have the desire for it – be it due to the awareness or otherwise. It is okay both ways.
Hi Darshan,
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post. I agree with you about almost everything. To consider life an either/or, a gift or a punishment, is a pretty undeveloped way to look at it, I think. Both imply a creator somewhere, and like you, I do not believe in that. Even so, life is an amazing thing, and consciousness--the ability to be aware of one's life (and death)--is even more amazing. And whether or not to have children has nothing to do with whether you believe life has "meaning." It has to do with your own interest in being a parent. Or at least, it should; in this day and age, parenting should always be voluntary, never obligatory. I don't see how your choices in this area say anything about the preciousness, or lack of, that life is.
The one thing I disagree with--and it is a pretty big one, IMO--is your question, "what's the point of it all?" As you say, there is no "purpose" to life, and that is true--except for one very big one: The purpose is simply to ENJOY it. Alan Watts used a great metaphor for the "meaning" of life. Most people, he said, view life as a journey with a destination, when it is much better viewed as a dance. And what is the point of a dance? Simply to enjoy the dancing. If people looked at a dance like they did a journey, then they couldn't enjoy the music because they would be constantly waiting for that last note to come. That's how most people live life, when instead, they should be enjoying the dance of it all. Really, that's all there is. But that is enough. And even if most people don't achieve great understanding of life (I actually think the figure is less than 1%!), each one of us still has an opportunity to enjoy the dance to the best of our ability, and we should all have that opportunity,regardless of how good or poor our understanding of it is. It is not up to you or me to decide the value of another person's life, that is a solely personal decision. Same goes for having children.
Thanks for another great, thought-provoking article!
Kitty
Nice post and response. I would like to add that I think any philosophy of life is inherently speculative. Any true knowledge of life would negate the subject by definition. The human mind is also subject to delusion because of the ego, and the human mind and body is physical in nature. This physical dependence is a major problem for any attempt of mankind to transcend time and space. The concept that you will find out when you die is the oldest trick in the book, because it will be too late either way. All philosophies of how to live one's life is contrived, based on incomplete information and therefore inherently void. Life is a gift when it is good, it is a punishment when it goes bad. We can only try to minimize the pain and suffering. Nothing good can really come of this static life here on earth as there is no future in it. Thanks for your thoughtful post!
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