I always say that once the person has awareness about the existence he has to live his life as a “video game”. This comparison of life with a video game is not inappropriate. Let’s see how. Without intrinsic meaning and purpose, life is fundamentally absurd. Once you are aware of this, there’s no real point in living. Moreover, to make things worse, Nature has magnificently designed the emotion-intellect conflict; and unfortunately has bestowed on us both. So, the life is always going to be like a giant puzzle/problem, with our emotions pushing us to do something, and our intellect telling against it. While intellect sees the truth, emotions are what fulfill us. But the problem about emotions is that they are irrational. Hence the conflict. Now try to understand how living life with awareness could be akin to playing a video game. You know whatever is happening here – meaning, values, morality, politics, romantic love, sex, attachments etc, etc – is not real, in that everything is pointless in the end, but you have to keep playing because that’s the only way it is. Difficulties are by default there. And “playing” means you have to constantly make your way through the difficulties. When you lose, start over. Again lost, start over again. There’s no such thing as winning. Keep playing (living) till your time is over.
Sounds good. Nothing is real, eh? So, there’s no point in crying. No point in getting hurt. No point in even getting attached with things and people. It’s just a game. Just keep playing it till we are here. Alas, it’s not as simple as that.
Everything is pointless, but here we are talking only about emotions and their role in relationships. You'll know in a while why. Being an aware person you would know that emotional attachment and stuff is pointless. This follows from your knowledge that everyone has one’s own ego, and is primarily living for oneself only. This knowledge is not wrong. It’s absolutely true. That means whenever there’s going to be attachment, there’s going to be hurt sooner or later. Because when you are attached with someone you would want that person to care for you no matter what. You would want to ignore the fact that he (or she) is living primarily for himself, and that it’s just because the needs of both of you are aligned you are getting an illusory feeling that you are living for each other; and that it will last only till your needs from each other are reconciled. Okay, so you would know this when you are aware. This awareness makes emotional attachment very difficult. Now you ask, but why is attachment even necessary when it is pointless? It is pointless, but interestingly, emotional fulfillment is what gives us happiness, and that’s what makes life livable.
You see the dilemma now? Relationships are the primary source of our happiness. You have everything, but you are not related to another human being, you won’t feel happiness. Acknowledgement of our existence by another human being is an essential condition for us to feel happiness. That high is the importance of relationships. Intellect tells it’s ridiculous. When you know that everyone is living for one’s own ego and not for you, how the hell does it matter for you to be happy whether someone engages with you or not. You are doing what you want, and you have what you want. Why can’t that make you happy? Well, that way one can be contented. And one should definitely be developed enough to be in contentment. But if one is to be in that state always, then life is again pointless. Happiness, is what makes life worth the while, and nothing else. Intellect doesn’t understand it. Emotions have their own way. But they are irrational, hence, always dangerous. They make life worthwhile, but they also drive people to suicide – and that too for ridiculously irrational reasons. So, what to choose? Who to hear, intellect or emotions?
If you remained in the reality (listening to intellect) you won’t be able to develop attachment. Consequently, other people also would not choose you to hook their anchor of emotions on; because for them, you would not be dependable, emotionally. Needs should be aligned, remember? So, you will lose out on real (that is, emotion based) human relationships – without which happiness is a rare thing.
If you choose to go with emotions, that would be turning off your awareness. But then the question arises as to why you developed this awareness on the first place! Wasn’t it because you suffered and you wanted to know why there was suffering? You were uncomfortable with life and that pushed you to understand life. Now that you are aware, you see that the truth is not quite the way you had thought it would be. Instead of making life easy, it has made things (seemingly) worse for you. Truth looks useless. You see that in order to be happy and make life worthwhile you have to shut the awareness down. How futile the whole journey then!
Then there’s another set of questions: Is it even possible to get rid of the awareness? And even if it was, would you like to go back to the life of falsehoods? Isn’t truth-seeking our natural propensity? When you start feeling that what your happiness is based on is not real, can you really keep from seeking its truth?
When I talk about my game world theory, some people tell me it’s horrendous. How can I compare life with a video game! How can I call living, playing! Well, I know how it sounds. But what amazes me is how they don’t understand that this is how life becomes after one develops the awareness. Do they mean one should never develop this much awareness? Maybe, okay. But can one really help it? Could one know in advance how it’s going to be like after the awareness is developed? Those who do not develop awareness don’t do so not because they know how it’s going to be after the awareness, but because they don’t want to accept that there could be any other truth than what they already know. And they sure are worse off; for that’s the reason they require God and other delusions to stick to. Is that a healthy way to live? I doubt it; because most of the people are living that way, and still the world is a miserable place.
Back to the dilemma. One way to crack this dilemma that I have figured goes thus: Switch between real world and game world when ever necessary. Real world is the “awareness mode”. And game world is when the awareness is turned off for the most part. While real world is the reality seen by your intellect, game world is the reality for your emotions. Emotions are also as much a part of you as intellect is. Try to prolong your game world state as much as possible. When you are making friends, relationships, do not overthink. Note that it doesn’t mean you stop thinking totally. That would be fatal. Find the balance. Do listen to your emotions. Make genuine contact with people you like. Do not think that it’s a game world and that everything is pointless; because that way you won’t be genuinely interested in anything. You have to be sincerely and genuinely interested in good people. However irrational, from the intellect’s point of view, emotions bring you happiness, which ultimately decides the quality of your life. When you make a great friend, emotions will tell you to make promises of forever friendship. Go with it. (Okay wait.) If the other person is also developed then it’s okay to not go with irrational stuff like promises. But the point is, show your intentions that you want the friendship to last as much longer as anybody else would. If at all the forever was possible, you would want that. Note that it has to be genuine. Do not be indifferent. There’s no reason to get into the “awareness mode” here and ruin the moment. You’re happy. Enjoy it. You are attached, make the best of it. Life is most beautiful when two people are mutually attached.
And when the reality hits you in the face? (And it will.) At that moment you can turn on the awareness. If you are well aware deep inside, then you will immediately slip into contentment mode. That's why I say contentment is very important to attain. Even in that state, suffering is not 100% absent (because that’s how we are wired biologically), but you never suffer deeply for sure; because with awareness you know that suffering also has no point. So it remains only on the surface. Meanwhile, think of it as one fall in the game. Now you have to start over. Repeat the life. Keep doing it. In this way, filch whatever happiness you can get in life, through whatever works. If you feel like enjoying something, do not keep away from it before it has become ugly. Give everything a chance. By doing so, you would be giving yourself a chance, to make your life worthwhile.
Another way to live through the absurdity and still be happy (possibly without even seeing life as a game) that I am beginning to understand comes from Dalai Lama. I am still thinking upon it. Maybe I will talk about it some time in the future. This is it for now.
All of the above will make sense to you only if you have understood the fundamental nihilism and absurdity of life. If not, then this article is not for you. Not as yet.
Think I am a nihilist? Well, I am a nihilist who affirms life!
Sounds good. Nothing is real, eh? So, there’s no point in crying. No point in getting hurt. No point in even getting attached with things and people. It’s just a game. Just keep playing it till we are here. Alas, it’s not as simple as that.
Everything is pointless, but here we are talking only about emotions and their role in relationships. You'll know in a while why. Being an aware person you would know that emotional attachment and stuff is pointless. This follows from your knowledge that everyone has one’s own ego, and is primarily living for oneself only. This knowledge is not wrong. It’s absolutely true. That means whenever there’s going to be attachment, there’s going to be hurt sooner or later. Because when you are attached with someone you would want that person to care for you no matter what. You would want to ignore the fact that he (or she) is living primarily for himself, and that it’s just because the needs of both of you are aligned you are getting an illusory feeling that you are living for each other; and that it will last only till your needs from each other are reconciled. Okay, so you would know this when you are aware. This awareness makes emotional attachment very difficult. Now you ask, but why is attachment even necessary when it is pointless? It is pointless, but interestingly, emotional fulfillment is what gives us happiness, and that’s what makes life livable.
You see the dilemma now? Relationships are the primary source of our happiness. You have everything, but you are not related to another human being, you won’t feel happiness. Acknowledgement of our existence by another human being is an essential condition for us to feel happiness. That high is the importance of relationships. Intellect tells it’s ridiculous. When you know that everyone is living for one’s own ego and not for you, how the hell does it matter for you to be happy whether someone engages with you or not. You are doing what you want, and you have what you want. Why can’t that make you happy? Well, that way one can be contented. And one should definitely be developed enough to be in contentment. But if one is to be in that state always, then life is again pointless. Happiness, is what makes life worth the while, and nothing else. Intellect doesn’t understand it. Emotions have their own way. But they are irrational, hence, always dangerous. They make life worthwhile, but they also drive people to suicide – and that too for ridiculously irrational reasons. So, what to choose? Who to hear, intellect or emotions?
If you remained in the reality (listening to intellect) you won’t be able to develop attachment. Consequently, other people also would not choose you to hook their anchor of emotions on; because for them, you would not be dependable, emotionally. Needs should be aligned, remember? So, you will lose out on real (that is, emotion based) human relationships – without which happiness is a rare thing.
If you choose to go with emotions, that would be turning off your awareness. But then the question arises as to why you developed this awareness on the first place! Wasn’t it because you suffered and you wanted to know why there was suffering? You were uncomfortable with life and that pushed you to understand life. Now that you are aware, you see that the truth is not quite the way you had thought it would be. Instead of making life easy, it has made things (seemingly) worse for you. Truth looks useless. You see that in order to be happy and make life worthwhile you have to shut the awareness down. How futile the whole journey then!
Then there’s another set of questions: Is it even possible to get rid of the awareness? And even if it was, would you like to go back to the life of falsehoods? Isn’t truth-seeking our natural propensity? When you start feeling that what your happiness is based on is not real, can you really keep from seeking its truth?
When I talk about my game world theory, some people tell me it’s horrendous. How can I compare life with a video game! How can I call living, playing! Well, I know how it sounds. But what amazes me is how they don’t understand that this is how life becomes after one develops the awareness. Do they mean one should never develop this much awareness? Maybe, okay. But can one really help it? Could one know in advance how it’s going to be like after the awareness is developed? Those who do not develop awareness don’t do so not because they know how it’s going to be after the awareness, but because they don’t want to accept that there could be any other truth than what they already know. And they sure are worse off; for that’s the reason they require God and other delusions to stick to. Is that a healthy way to live? I doubt it; because most of the people are living that way, and still the world is a miserable place.
Back to the dilemma. One way to crack this dilemma that I have figured goes thus: Switch between real world and game world when ever necessary. Real world is the “awareness mode”. And game world is when the awareness is turned off for the most part. While real world is the reality seen by your intellect, game world is the reality for your emotions. Emotions are also as much a part of you as intellect is. Try to prolong your game world state as much as possible. When you are making friends, relationships, do not overthink. Note that it doesn’t mean you stop thinking totally. That would be fatal. Find the balance. Do listen to your emotions. Make genuine contact with people you like. Do not think that it’s a game world and that everything is pointless; because that way you won’t be genuinely interested in anything. You have to be sincerely and genuinely interested in good people. However irrational, from the intellect’s point of view, emotions bring you happiness, which ultimately decides the quality of your life. When you make a great friend, emotions will tell you to make promises of forever friendship. Go with it. (Okay wait.) If the other person is also developed then it’s okay to not go with irrational stuff like promises. But the point is, show your intentions that you want the friendship to last as much longer as anybody else would. If at all the forever was possible, you would want that. Note that it has to be genuine. Do not be indifferent. There’s no reason to get into the “awareness mode” here and ruin the moment. You’re happy. Enjoy it. You are attached, make the best of it. Life is most beautiful when two people are mutually attached.
And when the reality hits you in the face? (And it will.) At that moment you can turn on the awareness. If you are well aware deep inside, then you will immediately slip into contentment mode. That's why I say contentment is very important to attain. Even in that state, suffering is not 100% absent (because that’s how we are wired biologically), but you never suffer deeply for sure; because with awareness you know that suffering also has no point. So it remains only on the surface. Meanwhile, think of it as one fall in the game. Now you have to start over. Repeat the life. Keep doing it. In this way, filch whatever happiness you can get in life, through whatever works. If you feel like enjoying something, do not keep away from it before it has become ugly. Give everything a chance. By doing so, you would be giving yourself a chance, to make your life worthwhile.
Another way to live through the absurdity and still be happy (possibly without even seeing life as a game) that I am beginning to understand comes from Dalai Lama. I am still thinking upon it. Maybe I will talk about it some time in the future. This is it for now.
All of the above will make sense to you only if you have understood the fundamental nihilism and absurdity of life. If not, then this article is not for you. Not as yet.
Think I am a nihilist? Well, I am a nihilist who affirms life!
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