(!) BE CAREFUL in interpreting the following article. I have refined my views on this topic over time.
You know, the ancient Egyptians had a beautiful belief about death. When their souls got to the entrance to heaven, the guards asked two questions. Their answers determined whether they were able to enter or not. 'Have you found joy in your life?' 'Has your life brought joy to others?' —The Bucket List
Maybe that's well-intentioned but very deceptively naïve. It raises the question as to whether you should live for your happiness or devote yourself to making other people happy. What should be on priority. For the enlightened one the question is utterly irrelevant (and he would know why!) But what would I say to those still in the journey of spiritual development?
First of all, there's no heaven and hell. What is, is here and now. In this life. So, you need not worry and do anything to secure your wellness after life. Death is the end of consciousness. There's absolutely no "you" after you die.
That leaves you with only this life.
Bringing joy to yourself in your life is a must to call it a good life. And when you do that by following your true nature you don't have to worry about whether you brought joy to others' lives. Because it's not in your hands how others feel about things. If someone doesn't want to be happy he will not be happy even in the best circumstances. You can't do anything about it. Only thing you can, and should, do is follow your true nature and create utmost joy in your life thus. Then whatever happens is perfect!
When you are following your true nature and making others happy on the way, you are not sacrificing anything. You are just following your nature, and others are happy. So, that would not be called living for other people’s happiness. Living for other people's happiness means going out of the way to ignore your true nature and do things for others. That is so wrong!
It goes on mostly because the traditional wisdom (handed down through religions and conditioning) tells one should always make others happy. Being sacrificial is propagated as a must-have virtue. People feel kind of guilty when they have to hurt someone to follow their own heart. Then they feel they will be punished by God for hurting people for fulfilling their own wishes. And when they don't follow their heart, they aren't happy either. The problem is that people take the words of wisdom directly without applying their own thinking. What the wisdom must mean is that one should become attuned to the surrounding such that one is happy in oneself, and then (only then) one should always try to maximize the collective happiness.
I believe most people in the world are not happy because they are living for other people's happiness! Some people do it out of emotional dependency, some do it to look virtuous and win acceptance! When you live for other people's happiness you inadvertently want other people to live for yours. This mutual dependency is a sign of spiritual weakness, which screws up the whole thing. Ideally, you should look after your own happiness and let others look after theirs. The primary source of happiness for everyone should be within oneself. Happiness coming from the outside, through other people, should always be secondary.
The idea of living solely for other people's happiness is fundamentally wrong, because that kills one's freedom. When the freedom is gone, fulfillment in life is impossible.
Before thinking to bring joy to others' lives one has to be joyous in oneself.
some people are helpful and some are not its nothing to do with expecting something in return, its just in the nature of people... i have a friend who is very helpful to everyone, its just his nature.. i have always wondered why he goes through all this trouble to help others,, but he cant help it..
ReplyDeleteBeing helpful not necessarily means that we are expecting some help from them,, it just makes one feel good to see someone's problem getting solved.. I m helpful in monetary terms, i can help people with money, but i wont help in any other terms.. thats how it is.. there are different kind of helps that people will be ready to give..
And its always good to help others, somewhere down the line someone will help you too..
Man by nature is selfish and every act of ours is directed towards our own needs. We help others not because we are living for their happiness .It is that somewhere within us we feel good about being helpful to someone in need. It makes us feel a better human if an act of ours makes someone happy.
ReplyDeleteIts one's own perception of self , one's own values that decide these inner needs , some people may play a prank on someone else and find happiness while some find happiness in being a succor.