Pride is a feeling of satisfaction over something by which you measure your self-worth.
Keeping in view the meaning of pride let's understand how people carry irrational pride in certain cases and why they do so.
True (rational) pride is what you feel upon accomplishing something by your own efforts which adds to your self-worth. For example, when you achieve something that makes you stand out from the crowd, or when you excel in your field, or if you beat all odds to reach your goals then those are the things that add to your self-worth, and they give you the feeling of having accomplished something by your own decisions and efforts. In such situations pride felt is valid.
Feeling proud upon your own achievements makes sense. But pride expressed upon, say, a fellow country-man's victory in a sports event is silly when you have nothing to do with that person. That is one of the examples of false (irrational) pride.
Basically, it is foolish of one to be proud of something which has happened without one's willful involvement in it. It's like taking credit for something one has no hand in!
The most prominent example of people expressing irrational pride is probably for their Nationality. Nationality is something which one gets accidentally just by birth. No one gets to choose as to which country one wants to be born in. If having been born in India I say I am proud to be Indian then, holding irrationality constant, I am sure that if I was born in America I would say the same thing in favor of America. Then what is it exactly that I have done and I should be proud of? Nothing!
Pride is associated with self-worth, and its expression is only valid in situations where you (self) have had a role to play. That means things like nationality, skin color, physique etc, and even religion and culture in most cases which one gets by birth without exercising a conscious choice can not be taken pride in. It is because those things have noting to do with your respectability. They don't tell about your merit, superiority, excellence or any of your personal positive traits which contribute towards your self-worth, or who you are. Thus, pride essentially involves one's conscious participation in something which is taken pride in.
Do you feel a strong sense of pride upon seeing the rain? Or that sun shines every morning, or the moon shows up every night, or the wind blows and the birds chirp? Why not, if you can be proud of the piece of land you are dropped on without choice (just because you are dropped there) then why can't you be proud of the sun and moon or the rain! What difference is there between those two?
I tried to figure out the reasons for such irrationality (which I myself have also been through at certain point). There's more than one reason why people indulge in irrational pride, many of which are closely related. Some of them are —
One often expresses pride for the qualities which at the same time, given a choice, he would love to get rid of. Example: An ugly person expressing pride for his looks.
Expression of pride is used as a psychological tactic which mind uses to derive satisfaction out of unfavorable condition one has been put in without choice. This point is very much connected with the previous one. Example: Being born in a dirty country full of corruption and still feeling proud of it.
Pride is often expressed as an impulsive response to a criticism, real or imagined. Example: A person would say he is proud of be a Christian in spite of everything upon being shown glaring flaws in Christianity.
It means identifying oneself with a greater entity and involves taking credit for someone else's good qualities. It's done to feel inflated self-worth. Example: When my country's football team wins I would say "we" won, and take pride in it, as if "I" was also a part of the team and had some qualities or skills because of which they met victory!
There are people who when usually want to say that they love or admire something or someone rather say they are proud of it. The expression is not right. It shows aggressiveness or desperation to establish one's love or admiration. Upon close observation I have understood that for some of the cases it results from one or more of the above-mentioned character flaws. In other cases, it's just plain laziness to think. People just don't stop to think and analyze before saying something why they are saying it and what exactly it means.
The bottom line is this: You can only measure or express your self-worth (take pride) through something in which you have taken part by investing your own efforts. It's pretty logical. In any other case if you are doing that, then do some introspection and try to locate the inadequacy so that it can be improved on.
Finally, I will conclude with some of the commonest examples where expression of pride is used and we see whether it's valid or invalid in those cases —
Keeping in view the meaning of pride let's understand how people carry irrational pride in certain cases and why they do so.
True (rational) pride is what you feel upon accomplishing something by your own efforts which adds to your self-worth. For example, when you achieve something that makes you stand out from the crowd, or when you excel in your field, or if you beat all odds to reach your goals then those are the things that add to your self-worth, and they give you the feeling of having accomplished something by your own decisions and efforts. In such situations pride felt is valid.
Feeling proud upon your own achievements makes sense. But pride expressed upon, say, a fellow country-man's victory in a sports event is silly when you have nothing to do with that person. That is one of the examples of false (irrational) pride.
Basically, it is foolish of one to be proud of something which has happened without one's willful involvement in it. It's like taking credit for something one has no hand in!
The most prominent example of people expressing irrational pride is probably for their Nationality. Nationality is something which one gets accidentally just by birth. No one gets to choose as to which country one wants to be born in. If having been born in India I say I am proud to be Indian then, holding irrationality constant, I am sure that if I was born in America I would say the same thing in favor of America. Then what is it exactly that I have done and I should be proud of? Nothing!
Pride is associated with self-worth, and its expression is only valid in situations where you (self) have had a role to play. That means things like nationality, skin color, physique etc, and even religion and culture in most cases which one gets by birth without exercising a conscious choice can not be taken pride in. It is because those things have noting to do with your respectability. They don't tell about your merit, superiority, excellence or any of your personal positive traits which contribute towards your self-worth, or who you are. Thus, pride essentially involves one's conscious participation in something which is taken pride in.
Do you feel a strong sense of pride upon seeing the rain? Or that sun shines every morning, or the moon shows up every night, or the wind blows and the birds chirp? Why not, if you can be proud of the piece of land you are dropped on without choice (just because you are dropped there) then why can't you be proud of the sun and moon or the rain! What difference is there between those two?
I tried to figure out the reasons for such irrationality (which I myself have also been through at certain point). There's more than one reason why people indulge in irrational pride, many of which are closely related. Some of them are —
Lack of real self-respect
One often expresses pride for the qualities which at the same time, given a choice, he would love to get rid of. Example: An ugly person expressing pride for his looks.
Masking insecurities
Expression of pride is used as a psychological tactic which mind uses to derive satisfaction out of unfavorable condition one has been put in without choice. This point is very much connected with the previous one. Example: Being born in a dirty country full of corruption and still feeling proud of it.
Counterattack mechanism
Pride is often expressed as an impulsive response to a criticism, real or imagined. Example: A person would say he is proud of be a Christian in spite of everything upon being shown glaring flaws in Christianity.
Desire to be a part of something greater than oneself
It means identifying oneself with a greater entity and involves taking credit for someone else's good qualities. It's done to feel inflated self-worth. Example: When my country's football team wins I would say "we" won, and take pride in it, as if "I" was also a part of the team and had some qualities or skills because of which they met victory!
Intellectual laziness
There are people who when usually want to say that they love or admire something or someone rather say they are proud of it. The expression is not right. It shows aggressiveness or desperation to establish one's love or admiration. Upon close observation I have understood that for some of the cases it results from one or more of the above-mentioned character flaws. In other cases, it's just plain laziness to think. People just don't stop to think and analyze before saying something why they are saying it and what exactly it means.
The bottom line is this: You can only measure or express your self-worth (take pride) through something in which you have taken part by investing your own efforts. It's pretty logical. In any other case if you are doing that, then do some introspection and try to locate the inadequacy so that it can be improved on.
Finally, I will conclude with some of the commonest examples where expression of pride is used and we see whether it's valid or invalid in those cases —
- Proud of my country: Invalid. You have not chosen it.
- Proud of my culture: Invalid. You have had absolutely no role to play in what went a few hundreds years back.
- Proud of my religion: Invalid.
- Proud of Abraham Lincoln: Invalid. You have nothing to do with the individual or what he did and was.
- Proud of my parents: Invalid. Except when you are taking pride in a particular quality of them which "you" have helped them develop.
- Proud of my children: Valid only in the context of their development as a result of upbringing that "you" gave them.
- Proud to be a human: One has to be a moron to feel that.
Hi Darshan,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this article. One of my least favorite sentiments expressed on bumper stickers everywhere in the USA is "Proud to be an American." People think they're saying something with substance when they're not saying anything at all, except that they haven't thought the matter through very well! And it has become very politically correct nowadays to teach children pride in themselves without also teaching them that they need to achieve something of value in order to feel such pride--I guess I see this as a rather serious issue, that pride has become disconnected from any valid and worthwhile reason for having it. Thanks for writing about it.
Take care,
Kitty
ps--I hope you don't mind if I borrow from your idea and maybe do my own post on it--it's such a great topic! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Kitty, for the great comment! And yes, please do a post on the topic. I'm sure you can discuss it in a much better way.
ReplyDeleteExcellent article. I've often expressed the same sentiments. Another example of false pride is when people are proud of being older than someone else. What have they achieved other than being born earlier!
ReplyDelete@Bhagwad, Thank you! Yes, that's also one nasty example of false pride people express. BTW, being born earlier is also NOT an achievement!
ReplyDeletei dont think there is anything wrong with being proud as long as it doesnt develope prejudices towards others..
ReplyDeletePride is irrational, but aren't all emotions? Besides, I believe free-will is an illusion, due to determinism, so that would make any form of shame or pride irrational.
ReplyDelete