Do you believe in luck?

Everything is governed by precise dynamics, and you are also a part of it. So you had better be active rather than counting on your luck!

I often hear people asking, “Do you believe in luck?” and always it makes me wonder whatever they mean by “luck”, and what to answer to it when they ask such a question. Through this article today I will put my analysis of the word.

Luck as Destiny

Most of the people who believe in luck believe that some seemingly extra-ordinary events – good or bad – happen in their lives which are beyond their control, and such events are happening because it is written, i.e. it is their destiny.

Luck is destiny.

According to them believing in luck generally means believing in destiny. It means believing that everything in your life will happen as is written and you can not control or avoid it.

Let’s take one hypothetical incident and see how these people would interpret it.

It’s raining, and four boys are playing in the garden. All of a sudden lightning strikes one of the boys and kills him immediately. The mother of the boy who died is in great grief and is asking God, “why my son, out of all four!”

People believing in luck in this way would say that it was already written who will die, and no one could change it. He died because he was unlucky. In other words, he was destined to die.

I have seen such type of people who don’t care much about the kind of life they live. They live life as it comes. When asked, they say it does not matter whether you live with planning or without it. After all, you will only get what is written in your destiny. However hard you work, if you are destined to be poor then you will remain poor. And if you don’t work but are destined to be rich then you will win a lottery and be rich. It’s all luck. Destiny! This is the mentality of the people who believe in luck in this way.

So far I still don’t find a reason to believe in destiny. You see, believing in destiny is not the same as believing in your God. I am saying God because both destiny and God are non-quantifiable and beyond rationality. But you at least have some motivation for believing in God. That is, if you believe in God you will pray for wellbeing and it will please God and He will grant you wellbeing. Well, it doesn’t really happen but just assuming that there is such God, you at least have that as a motivational factor. But what is the motivational factor for believing in destiny? Unlike believing in God, believing in destiny is not going to change anything. Just as they say, the event will happen anyway. All it will do is free you from the mental exercise of understanding and reasoning of some seemingly extra-ordinary event in your life. Is that a good reason for believing in destiny?

Then I have a better reason for not believing in destiny.

If you strongly believe that everything in your life happens as written and you can not control or avoid it then somewhere down inside your activeness is lessened, because you believe that if you are destined to have something then you will have it anyway, and if it is not your destiny then you will never have it however hard you try. Moreover, you will stop taking credit for the good things that happen to you and thereby lose out on important confidence-building experiences of life; and at the same time you will stop bearing accountability for the bad things that happen to you and thereby lose out on learning important lessons of diligence with life. By attributing everything to destiny you be loser both ways!

When you believe in destiny you don’t put in your entire efforts because you are always skeptic about whether the thing is in your destiny at all. When you believe in destiny you believe that destiny governs your life. Destiny is active. The stronger your belief that destiny is active, more passive you be.

On the other hand, stop believing in destiny for a change. There is nothing written. No destiny. That means everything is in your control. You yourself can shape your destiny. When you will realize that there is nothing written about your life and you are in complete charge of your life you will have the reason to do everything most actively.

Isn’t active living more full of life than passive living? It is needless to say when you are active the events in your life are more in your control. Of course, it won’t always be in control, but if so happens, then that is what would have happened anyway if you had believed in destiny!

In short, believing in destiny would not change anything except making a loser of you. But by not believing in it you can take full control of your life and be active. Stop being a loser. Feel completely alive!

Luck as Coincidence

Rationally speaking, there is nothing like destiny. Something that is not quantifiable has no place in rationalism.

If there is no destiny then it is important to understand why you are tempted to believe in destiny. Let’s understand it with help of another example –

Rohan and Mohan are two friends who have given their degree exams. Rohan is good at studies and is pretty sure that he will pass it with good marks whereas Mohan is not-so-good at studies and is doubtful whether he will make it through. Surprisingly, when the results come, Mohan passes and Rohan fails the exam. They can’t believe it. The one who is good at studies fails and the one who is poor at studies passes!

This example represents very commonly felt phenomena in our routine life that tempt us to believe in destiny. But before jumping onto any such conclusion you have to understand the dynamics of efforts and rewards.

The efforts and rewards are not always directly related. Besides your efforts, there are many dynamics in place that shape the rewards. Considering the above example, even though Rohan is good at studies and has put in his best efforts his paper might have gone through the hands of a very strict examiner, or the examiner’s mood was bad when assessing his paper, or his answer-book containing important portion of answers was detached and missed out. The possibilities are endless and unimaginable. So, his failure can not be attributed to something called destiny just because you are unable to understand what might have gone wrong. The same works in case of Mohan. Even though he is poor at studies his dynamics favored him somehow and he passed. Destiny is nowhere in the picture.

To continue the argument till eternity you might say then why the dynamics worked in favor of one and against the other. It so happened because it was written!

No. There is a better explanation for it. What happened in the above example is called coincidence. When the event is beyond reasoning and comprehension is it coincidence.

Luck is coincidence, or a set of coincidences.

Luck is not destiny. There is nothing written. Happenings of seemingly extra-ordinary events in people’s lives are nothing but coincidences.

Coincidences are not bound in any rules. They are accidental. When a good coincidence takes place in someone’s life you can say that he is lucky and vice versa.

These two theories of luck - Luck as Destiny and Luck as Coincidence – are all-encompassing. You must believe in one of them. As for the “Luck as Destiny” theory, I gave you a pretty good reason for not believing in destiny. The only rational thing would be to accept Luck as Coincidence.

And why, out of million sperms released only the one that was fastest became victorious to be born and you took place. It’s a coincidence! In the unimaginably vast universe only our planet has got life on it. It’s a coincidence. Intelligence in human beings is a coincidence! The entire existence is a coincidence! If you can digest such big coincidences then how can you not digest the phenomenon as in the above example? There is no destiny. Coincidences are all over!

Now before you start thinking that after all coincidences govern your life and that you still won’t have control over it let me tell you I have still not disclosed the most important part about the whole luck thing. It’s in understanding coincidence.

What is coincidence?

When some event seems extra-ordinary to you, you call it coincidence. But the fact is that in the existence nothing is extra-ordinary. Everything in Nature is governed by precise dynamics. The dynamics that causes the existence to be is beyond comprehension of human mind and that is the reason when something goes unexpected and uncomprehended it seems extra-ordinary to you, and you name it as coincidence.

The most important thing to understand about coincidence is that it is never targeted at someone. So, there is no question of coincidences governing your life.

Example: You are about to step out of your house and just then it starts raining. Well, it is a coincidence for sure and nothing wrong if you call it your “bad luck” if you didn’t want the rain. But, if you think that this coincidence was targeted at you by Nature then you are wrong! The rain is an ordinary event in Nature and there is dynamics (or science) behind it, just like in case of everything else. It does not always rain only when you are about to step out. It rains even when you are sleeping inside your house. And besides, whenever it rains there is someone who is about to step out of some place. Does that mean the rain is always targeted at some people? That it always rains to spoil someone’s time?

No. Just because sometimes ordinary events of Nature fall in the way which is not desired by you at the moment it does not mean that Nature has targeted it at you. Likewise, sometimes the ordinary events of Nature fall in unexpectedly pleasant way then too it does not mean that the favor was bestowed upon you by Nature.

Whether the event was extra-ordinary (in good or bad way) or not depends on your own situation and perspective at the moment. Thus, coincidence is not a natural phenomenon, but has everything to do with the person’s mind.

You can surely call pleasant coincidences your “good luck” and unpleasant ones your “bad luck”, but there is no reason to think that something miraculous as luck governs your life. There is no reason for giving up control of your life. Yes, your life will surely be affected by the dynamics around you, but then you are also a part of the dynamics.

Conclusion

Everything is governed by precise dynamics, and you are also a part of it. So you had better be active rather than counting on your luck!

What is friendship?

You feel more for those who understand you better, and you would feel nothing for those who don’t understand you at all.

In a social world there exist many kinds of relationships. Some relationships come with birth, while others are developed in the course of life. Without relationships human life is inconceivable. However, it is important to know which relationship is important for life.

As I said, some relationships come with birth. You don’t have to do anything to get into those relationships. Like your relationship with your parents, and with the immediate members of your parents’ families. Even if you don’t know some of the members of your parents’ families you are related to them. So, they are the relationships which are come with your birth. The other type is those relationships which are developed in the course of your life. Your neighbors, teachers, boss etc. fall into this type.

Take a distant look and you will see that both types of relationships I mentioned above are important for your life as a social animal. Take a close look and you will see that all relationships are merely the tools to fulfill your social needs. Parents would take care of you while you are growing up; teachers would feed your mind with knowledge which you will require for dealing in worldly affairs; neighbors would help you when you have run short of sugar; and boss would give you a salary to fuel your living, and so on. These are all fulfilling just your social needs.

As humans we do have a more important need than the social needs. It is the need of the mind. It is our psychological need which is, in a way, more important than the social needs. That need is the need for friendship. I believe that the most important thing out of all relationships you need as a human – not just as a social animal – is friendship.

Friendship is not a relationship. It’s the quality of a relationship. Don’t mistake friendship for just another type of relationship. Any relationship can be friendship if it has the quality. You can be friends with your parents, teachers, boss… anyone.

What is friendship and who is a friend?

My school of rationality says a friend is the one who understands your thoughts and respects them.

Why your thoughts? Because you are what you think. Your character is a sum of your words, actions, and the overall living; and all of these things are guided by your thoughts. So, if someone understands your thoughts and respects them then it means he understands and respects what you are. When you find such a relationship only then it is friendship. Any relation, who does not understand and respect your thoughts, does not know you and, is not a friend.

Friendship is understanding and respect. This is a simple, yet the most comprehensive definition of friendship.

Important thing to note here is that it is not necessary for a friend to understand your each and every thought. This is because the shape of your thoughts is affected by factors such as your own experiences, your domestic environment, and the kind of books you have read etc. These factors may differ for different people. In the depths of our mind we all have some thoughts that we rarely think of expressing because we don’t see the person who would understand them. If so is the thought, and your friend is unable to understand it then it would not render the relationship any lesser than friendship – provided that he has the realization that everyone has some thoughts which may be difficult to understand for others. The respect remains intact only when there is this realization. Thus, when I say understanding of your thoughts it is general understanding and not specific. In any case, respect is must.

I say most important thing humans need out of any relationship is friendship. Now you will understand the statement. Have you ever noticed that you feel attached only with those who understand and respect you? Because that is the only way your mind feels attachment with someone. Understanding with respect is a pleasure which the human mind needs as much as the body needs sex. Unless one satisfies the basic need of your mind there is no way it will feel attachment with one.

Observe those around you whom you call friends and relations. You will see that you have segregated the people; categorized them as the most important, less important, least important and unimportant people. Some you call “best friends”, while others are “just friends”, and so on. Ever observed on what basis you categorize people? The only basis you use is how much the person understands and respects you.

You feel more for those who understand you better, and you would feel nothing for those who don’t understand you at all. It’s the law that governs social aspect of the human mind.

You should have noticed that deep thinkers have fewer friends. If you are among deep thinkers then you would know it very well. Those who are having numerous friends are, without exception, the people with ordinary thoughts; because when you think ordinary it is easy to find people who understand you and friendships develop quickly. Look at the life of the great philosophers. Most of them have lived without friends; because friendship can not exist without understanding and respect.

Friendship completely rides on understanding and respect.

Is friendship permanent?

I have often said that nothing is constant and permanent in the world – not even true love. How can a friendship be permanent then? However, when I am saying this I don’t mean it as a rule.

Theoretically, yes, friendship can be permanent, but often times when people say the words as “forever friendship” or “friends forever” they are saying it not rationally but out of excitement. Of course, when the relationship is going great you would love to think it lasts forever and get carried away with the thought. But now that you understand what friendship really is – which is understanding and respect of one’s thoughts – you can think rationally over it.

Are your thoughts consistent or they keep changing? As you keep moving on in your life you keep learning new things which would keep refining your thoughts. So, when your thinking changes, you change. Today someone understands you and is your friend, but how can you count on him for tomorrow, when you yourself will have changed? And if you can change, so can your friend. It is likely that tomorrow either you will change and remain no more understandable or respectable for the other person, or vice versa.

As long as the friends are walking on the same path there is no reason for the friendship to break. But on the contrary, there is no reason for it to continue, if it’s the otherwise – and that shouldn’t be shocking or surprising.

Now you can calculate how many friends you have got today. They may be anywhere; in your parents, your neighbors, teachers, boss, and so on.

You must be having many people in your life who you call your friends, maybe because you don’t know another word to identify them with, or you don’t know what friendship really is… OR your definition of friendship is different.

This was my theory of friendship.