First of all I would make it clear that I am not talking about what “should be” and “should not be”. I am showing here what “is”.
We hear many people saying looks are not important for them. The “inner-beauty” is all what they look for in people. They are liars. Let me tell you this: Looks is the first thing that counts for each and every human being in the world. (And for quite a many of them, the only one!)
You are also not out of it, I tell you, if you have already started to defend yourself in your mind. Let me show you. Just imagine you entered a cafeteria where there are only two seats vacant. One is on the table which is occupied by a good looking person (of the opposite sex, of course) and another one is on the table which is occupied by a not-so-good looking* person. You’ve got to share a table with either of these two persons. Now supposing they both are equally strangers to you who will you choose to share a table with? This you can decide for yourself. Unless you are prejudiced in some way about good-looks or have inferiority complex, you will feel inclined to sit with the good looking person. Does that mean you are mean? No. And that does not even have to mean that you generally carry dislike towards not-so-good looking people. That’s just your natural inclination. The first impulse is always, always in favor of good looks.
Give you another very common example. We all use social networking websites these days. Orkut, Facebook etc. Suppose you are getting bored and decide to randomly browse other people’s profiles. Do you ever notice that you pick those people’s profile with good looking display pics more often than those who have not-so-good looking pics? (It’s also quite possible that you pick those with good looking pics only. Observe yourself next time!) Let me tell you again this does not mean you are mean or anything. It just means that however mean it might sound, and however unpleasant it is to accept it, looks is very important for everyone and always counts first!
The first thing that appeals to everyone is looks, and then comes everything else.
The reason looks is important to everyone is because it is connected with sex. Now you will think how on earth sex fits here. I will show how it does. Sexual instinct is equally present in every normal human being, irrespective of gender, religion, nationality and whatever else. And we all know it’s the greatest pleasure. That’s the reason sex is also categorized in life’s basic necessities. (Though some people don’t like to agree with it but that does not matter because the instinct is universal anyway.) Now think this way: Food is also a basic necessity. Given a choice would you like to eat something which tastes good, or you would prefer something with no-so-good taste? You know it. Even though the food with not-so-good taste might be nutrition-rich your inclination will be towards good taste unless you’ve got no taste buds on your tongue!
So important is sex, which makes looks important, too. By looks I don’t mean beauty. Beauty is something that pleases your senses when you look at it. Like cuteness of a baby, or even natural scenery. But here looks essentially means the over-all sex-appeal, of which beauty fills just a part.
Does it mean that every time you choose a person with good looks (for conversation, friendship, or just random profile-browsing on the internet) it has something to do with your sexual instinct? Well, yes. If you are not conscious of it (or don’t want to appear so) then that’s a different thing.
So, here’s another ugly truth: Sexual instinct rules your decisions (to a good extent!).
There was a survey conducted in which most people agreed upon the thing that when they were looking for a short-term relationship (which is most often for mutual sexual benefit) they would go for good looks. But when considering a long-term relationship (marriage) they would look for “inner-beauty”. Now this is quite understandable.
I would say there are two types of people here who would look for “inner-beauty” when going for a long-term relationship. The first type is those who are in love. By “inner-beauty” they mean good and caring nature, understanding and/or intelligence. To put it simply, they will find “inner-beauty” in the person who shares the same wavelength with them; who has in him/her the qualities that they are attracted to and admire. It’s purely subjective. There are no defined standards for "inner-beauty". Thus, these people who happen to be in love with some person would ignore his/her looks and give priority to “inner-beauty”. And it’s perfectly alright. Sharing the same wavelength with someone has a great joy. But still that does not really prove that looks don’t count. They are the same people who fantasize about a sexy film-actor in the bathroom while masturbating. Why, not only in the bathroom, even while giving orgasms to the loved partner they do fantasize about the sexy neighbor. It’s no secret, you see. Even sexologists advise it for those couples who are finding it difficult to sexually satisfy each other. It’s considered a healthy practice! And we like to say looks don’t count! (With my own supreme standards I even wonder how they can be called faithful couples!)
The other type is those people who purposely do their pre-marriage “enjoyment” with the sexy creatures but when it’s time to marry they would choose simplicity. (You see, “simple” is actually the dignifying word for “not-so-good looking”.) Because sexier the partner more would be the “admirers”. And more of “admirers” means higher possibility of the partner’s falling in the seduction-trap and turning unfaithful! How weak is human mind when sex is the thing! So, these people prefer “simple” looking partner because they don’t want their partner to be preyed on by the “admirers”. It’s creepy, but it does go on because of the fact that looks count a great deal!
As long as sex will be, looks will remain important. No one in the world can deny it.
I am not trying to prove that looks is most important or the only thing that counts for you. Of course, inner beauty is far more important in every other aspect of a relationship apart from sex. All I am saying is if you are saying that you don’t go after looks and the “inner-beauty” is only what’s important for you then, you’d better know it now, you're a big freaking liar!
*By “not-so-good looking” I don’t mean “ugly”.
We hear many people saying looks are not important for them. The “inner-beauty” is all what they look for in people. They are liars. Let me tell you this: Looks is the first thing that counts for each and every human being in the world. (And for quite a many of them, the only one!)
You are also not out of it, I tell you, if you have already started to defend yourself in your mind. Let me show you. Just imagine you entered a cafeteria where there are only two seats vacant. One is on the table which is occupied by a good looking person (of the opposite sex, of course) and another one is on the table which is occupied by a not-so-good looking* person. You’ve got to share a table with either of these two persons. Now supposing they both are equally strangers to you who will you choose to share a table with? This you can decide for yourself. Unless you are prejudiced in some way about good-looks or have inferiority complex, you will feel inclined to sit with the good looking person. Does that mean you are mean? No. And that does not even have to mean that you generally carry dislike towards not-so-good looking people. That’s just your natural inclination. The first impulse is always, always in favor of good looks.
Give you another very common example. We all use social networking websites these days. Orkut, Facebook etc. Suppose you are getting bored and decide to randomly browse other people’s profiles. Do you ever notice that you pick those people’s profile with good looking display pics more often than those who have not-so-good looking pics? (It’s also quite possible that you pick those with good looking pics only. Observe yourself next time!) Let me tell you again this does not mean you are mean or anything. It just means that however mean it might sound, and however unpleasant it is to accept it, looks is very important for everyone and always counts first!
The first thing that appeals to everyone is looks, and then comes everything else.
The reason looks is important to everyone is because it is connected with sex. Now you will think how on earth sex fits here. I will show how it does. Sexual instinct is equally present in every normal human being, irrespective of gender, religion, nationality and whatever else. And we all know it’s the greatest pleasure. That’s the reason sex is also categorized in life’s basic necessities. (Though some people don’t like to agree with it but that does not matter because the instinct is universal anyway.) Now think this way: Food is also a basic necessity. Given a choice would you like to eat something which tastes good, or you would prefer something with no-so-good taste? You know it. Even though the food with not-so-good taste might be nutrition-rich your inclination will be towards good taste unless you’ve got no taste buds on your tongue!
So important is sex, which makes looks important, too. By looks I don’t mean beauty. Beauty is something that pleases your senses when you look at it. Like cuteness of a baby, or even natural scenery. But here looks essentially means the over-all sex-appeal, of which beauty fills just a part.
Does it mean that every time you choose a person with good looks (for conversation, friendship, or just random profile-browsing on the internet) it has something to do with your sexual instinct? Well, yes. If you are not conscious of it (or don’t want to appear so) then that’s a different thing.
So, here’s another ugly truth: Sexual instinct rules your decisions (to a good extent!).
There was a survey conducted in which most people agreed upon the thing that when they were looking for a short-term relationship (which is most often for mutual sexual benefit) they would go for good looks. But when considering a long-term relationship (marriage) they would look for “inner-beauty”. Now this is quite understandable.
I would say there are two types of people here who would look for “inner-beauty” when going for a long-term relationship. The first type is those who are in love. By “inner-beauty” they mean good and caring nature, understanding and/or intelligence. To put it simply, they will find “inner-beauty” in the person who shares the same wavelength with them; who has in him/her the qualities that they are attracted to and admire. It’s purely subjective. There are no defined standards for "inner-beauty". Thus, these people who happen to be in love with some person would ignore his/her looks and give priority to “inner-beauty”. And it’s perfectly alright. Sharing the same wavelength with someone has a great joy. But still that does not really prove that looks don’t count. They are the same people who fantasize about a sexy film-actor in the bathroom while masturbating. Why, not only in the bathroom, even while giving orgasms to the loved partner they do fantasize about the sexy neighbor. It’s no secret, you see. Even sexologists advise it for those couples who are finding it difficult to sexually satisfy each other. It’s considered a healthy practice! And we like to say looks don’t count! (With my own supreme standards I even wonder how they can be called faithful couples!)
The other type is those people who purposely do their pre-marriage “enjoyment” with the sexy creatures but when it’s time to marry they would choose simplicity. (You see, “simple” is actually the dignifying word for “not-so-good looking”.) Because sexier the partner more would be the “admirers”. And more of “admirers” means higher possibility of the partner’s falling in the seduction-trap and turning unfaithful! How weak is human mind when sex is the thing! So, these people prefer “simple” looking partner because they don’t want their partner to be preyed on by the “admirers”. It’s creepy, but it does go on because of the fact that looks count a great deal!
As long as sex will be, looks will remain important. No one in the world can deny it.
I am not trying to prove that looks is most important or the only thing that counts for you. Of course, inner beauty is far more important in every other aspect of a relationship apart from sex. All I am saying is if you are saying that you don’t go after looks and the “inner-beauty” is only what’s important for you then, you’d better know it now, you're a big freaking liar!
*By “not-so-good looking” I don’t mean “ugly”.
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